she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
