you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
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