my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize