it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
