So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
