You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
