they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
try to milk me bitch
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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