dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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