She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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