i already hear my dad disowning me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
