I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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