True but thats because hes a fetus.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize