I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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