What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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