he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
