Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
