I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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