Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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