she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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