you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize