shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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