if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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