Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
The Olympian is in my bed
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
