Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
