Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Randomize
