Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
