If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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