Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize