i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
