Only a mothe r could love this liver
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
