There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
i now understand why vodka
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
