Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize