My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
