grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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