there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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