you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize