Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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