Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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