Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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