why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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