shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
