Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
