just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
