you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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