ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
