The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
