put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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