the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
