Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
