oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I think i peed on brittanys purse
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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