Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
