I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
