After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
