If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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