This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
