I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
