We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You ruined the universe
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
