Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I want a musical about memes.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize