so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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