We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
