i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
