Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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