just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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