Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
