Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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