Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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