Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
