Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
